I’ve been asked to go on a blind date and against my better judgement I’m thinking that I might go.
The set up is very tenuous and it has disaster written all over it. The flatmate of my friend, who I’ve only met a few times, suggested me for her work colleague’s friend who she has not even met. Worse still, this same friend is the person who set me up on my only blind date so far and that did not exactly go well.
It was about 8 years ago and my friend suggested I go on a blind date with her colleague Jennifer who I was told was half Italian and half Australian, 5ft 3inches, with beautiful red hair. I felt that my friend was a good judge of character and so I agreed to do it.
I arranged to meet her for early evening drinks and shortly before our meeting time, she calls to say she is running ten minutes late. She had a nice soft Australian accent and I started to think that maybe this could actually be good.
Ten minutes later I am standing outside the pub waiting for her to show up. For some reason, lots of women fitting her description walk past and as I try to make eye contact with them they just look at me like I’m a mentalist. Then she arrived.
You know when you meet someone, you immediately make a subconscious judgement about their appearance. For example, it could be ‘Oh yes!’, ‘Nice’, ‘Not bad’ or possibly ‘No way, never ever’. Unfortunately, Jennifer sparked the ‘no way never ever’ reaction.
The beautiful red hair was, in fact, a big ginger mess. Her face was literally plastered in makeup as she was trying to cover up her large number of freckles. There is nothing wrong with freckles, but it is slightly off-putting to see a face caked in makeup crumbling off whilst you talk to them.
I clearly didn’t fancy her, but thought this could potentially be a new friend. However, from the time it took to say hello outside the pub until we had got to the bar, she explained how much she hated London and Londoners (knowing I was from London). She then proceeded to explain how she hated black people, homosexuals and that Muslims were all liars. However, it was okay for her to say that as she told me she had Muslim friends.
An hour and a half later I said I had to leave to get to the party I was going to (this was a lie) and we said goodbye and shook hands. I wasn’t going to kiss a cheek covered in makeup, my lips would have gone white!
The next day I visited my friend who had set me up and asked why she thought I was suited to a racist homophobic bigot? My friend apologised and then told me that she had been acting weird at work as well?!
So I’ve not been a fan of blind dates since then and think the best way of setting people up is to invite them both to a social gathering of some kind and make sure they get introduced to each other. If there is chemistry, then they will get chatting on their own and if there isn’t, then you have saved them from the trauma of a blind date.
This blind date will be ridiculously awful. You now know as much about her as I do. However, because it is likely to be so terrible, that is why I am leaning towards going.