2009 is the Year of the Beard!


2009 is the year of the Beard, sorry Chinese folk, it’s not the Ox and sorry Brad Pitt, it ain’t the year of the moustache either! It’s all about the beard this year chaps as it seems many of us have spontaneously decided to adorn our faces with manly bristles. I don’t know if it was just to keep our faces warm in the cold weather, but I met up with some pals shortly after the New Year and nearly all of us had grown beards! I made the decision to keep mine and think others should do so too.

(not me)beard

Women seem to love the rugged and earthy look that facial hair gives us men. Two female friends who were commenting on my new facial addition both separately quoted a study they had heard of that said women are attracted to different guys at different stages of their lady cycle. When at the most reproductive stage they are most attracted to masculine-looking guys with beards and muscles but like less masculine looking men when the painters are in.

I have been genuinely surprised and very flattered by the number of nice comments I have received from both women and men about my beard. Now this could be just that they are pleased it covers up my face, but I am reassured that it is the beard that people like and think is cool. Even the cantankerous caretaker of my building said it was nice and made me look like I was into the arts?!

Beard growth is a new experience to me as I have never gone past the 6 or 7 days of growth previously as it always gets itchy, but if you can get through that having a beard is surprisingly good. I initially felt rather scruffy but I splurged and purchased a beard trimmer (only £13) and you can maintain a dapper beard with only one trim per week.

So I am now officially a pogonophile (lover of beards) and think beards are great. They have so many advantages: women love them when they are at their ‘happy time’ and don’t want to be near them at their ‘non-happy time’; you instantly look intelligent when you stroke your beard; they only take two minutes of maintenance per week and like Mr Twit you can keep food in them for a tasty snack later in the day!

Jake McMillan



5 responses to “2009 is the Year of the Beard!

  • Davis

    I used to have one just for the convenience of not shaving, but it was always too scraggly. I keep hoping scraggle will come into fashion — it may be starting with Brett on Flight of the Conchords.

  • mokkil

    On very few persons the beard looks great. Quite a few grow it to cover the pain of a recent failure.May be you belong to the first type to get rave comments.
    Then there is a third type who do not to spend time on this exercise.But then the year of the bird is for all those who love to have beards.

  • chebarbz

    Beards only look OK on men who are above OK looking. Beard stroking doesn’t make men look intelligent, it makes them look as though they’re clueless, and playing for time. I wouldn’t rely on one research paper – remember, eggs are good for you, eggs are bad for you, eggs are…

  • Ram Venkatararam

    As an extremely hirsute convenience store owner (my five o’clock shadow is an early riser and usually turns up at noon)I welcome you to the brotherhood of the pogonophiles. We meet Wednesdays and it’s 5 bucks a week but you get free beer.

  • Alex Sachter

    True the beard part is cool for guys but if its only 2-3 days of growing…more than that it makes you look like a hobo.

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