Monthly Archives: June 2009

Women hog the hug!

Have you noticed when a man hugs a woman that in the vast majority of cases, the woman actually hogs the hug?! The man, in fact, does not really get a hug at all, he does all the hugging with the woman receiving the hug doing very little hugging back, just simply putting her arms around the man’s neck. In this modern age of equality, this seems rather unfair don’t you think?

You might argue this is not a gender issue, but merely a matter of height as on average men are taller and so it is easier for men and women to hug this way. Utter nonsense. It is much easier for the shorter person to hug around the other person’s body rather than to reach all the way up high and put arms around the neck and, similarly, it is easier for the taller person to reach over the other person’s shoulders than to reach lower around the body.

No, it is another of those silly social conventions that favour women over men, just like men are expected to pay for dinner on the first date. When men do a ‘man hug’ it is all very fair and equitable as one arm goes over the shoulder and one around the body in more of a sideways hug and the other man does the same thing. There is no reason at all for men and women who are friends not to use this approach, rather than the normal one-sided hug technique.

However, when in a relationship the sideways ‘man hug’ style approach to hugging is not quite intimate or close enough in some situations so the traditional one hugger, one huggee method is used, but why must the man be the hugger all the time?

Don’t get me wrong, giving the hug is fantastic and sometimes is better than receiving, but women why must you always hog the hug? It’s interesting to see women hug each other as the rule seems to be whoever gets their arms up first, gets to have the hug from the other person.

So ladies, instead of your seemingly pre-programmed need to be the huggee, why not try next time and be the hugger? And gents, don’t be afraid to lift your arms up higher and get the hug you deserve.

I am not bitter or a misogynist, maybe I just need a hug?

Jake McMillan

Related Posts:
Social Etiquette
1 or 2 Kisses?
I Hate Weddings
Internet 1st Dates

Neil Pearson is a Splashy Swimmer

Do you know of Neil Pearson? He’s a British actor who appeared as Bridget Jones’s TV boss in the two Bridget Jones films and also starred in classic TV shows ‘Drop the Dead Donkey’ and ‘Between the Lines’ and is currently appearing in BBC1’s ‘All the Small Things’. Anyway, he goes to my local gym in South London and as a man who has just turned 50 is not in bad shape, but a very splashy swimmer!


I’m not really one who is “into” celebrities but for some reason I have always been good at spotting minor celebrities when out and about. I was in the pool swimming when I noticed him get in and being a fan, but also British and a bloke, I completely ignored him. I am quite a rubbish swimmer and one of those who really doesn’t like to get water up my nose but as I am also a little competitive I wanted to see if I was quick as the old-man-minor-celebrity. I wasn’t.

Neil employs a curious and somewhat annoying style of front crawl which is both hypnotic and ridiculous in equal measure. The first 5 strokes are quite normal and show excellent technique and good forward progress (unlike mine) but it is the 6th stroke where the ‘magic’ happens. It is on this stroke that Neil takes a breath and holds his arm high in the air. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but Neil clearly requires a lot of air as it is held majestically in the air for a very long time. When finally he has enough air to continue he brings the arm down with an almighty splash that even yours truly is splashed and I am swimming at least two lanes away! So much so, water got up my nose and I had to stand up to choke less efficiently.

I moved to the Jacuzzi and watched with amusement and fascination as Neil used his splash and crawl technique to clear his side of the pool. Every 6th stroke without fail that arm would be up in the air for what seemed like an eternity and then it would inevitably come… splash!

Neil, I love your work and you’re pretty trim for 50 as well as being a quicker swimmer than me … not that it’s hard to be though … but sort out your splashy swimming mate!

Jake McMillan