Women hog the hug!


Have you noticed when a man hugs a woman that in the vast majority of cases, the woman actually hogs the hug?! The man, in fact, does not really get a hug at all, he does all the hugging with the woman receiving the hug doing very little hugging back, just simply putting her arms around the man’s neck. In this modern age of equality, this seems rather unfair don’t you think?

You might argue this is not a gender issue, but merely a matter of height as on average men are taller and so it is easier for men and women to hug this way. Utter nonsense. It is much easier for the shorter person to hug around the other person’s body rather than to reach all the way up high and put arms around the neck and, similarly, it is easier for the taller person to reach over the other person’s shoulders than to reach lower around the body.

No, it is another of those silly social conventions that favour women over men, just like men are expected to pay for dinner on the first date. When men do a ‘man hug’ it is all very fair and equitable as one arm goes over the shoulder and one around the body in more of a sideways hug and the other man does the same thing. There is no reason at all for men and women who are friends not to use this approach, rather than the normal one-sided hug technique.

However, when in a relationship the sideways ‘man hug’ style approach to hugging is not quite intimate or close enough in some situations so the traditional one hugger, one huggee method is used, but why must the man be the hugger all the time?

Don’t get me wrong, giving the hug is fantastic and sometimes is better than receiving, but women why must you always hog the hug? It’s interesting to see women hug each other as the rule seems to be whoever gets their arms up first, gets to have the hug from the other person.

So ladies, instead of your seemingly pre-programmed need to be the huggee, why not try next time and be the hugger? And gents, don’t be afraid to lift your arms up higher and get the hug you deserve.

I am not bitter or a misogynist, maybe I just need a hug?

Jake McMillan

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3 responses to “Women hog the hug!

  • Davis

    I thought you were going to describe the dreaded sideways hug

  • Jenny

    It’s something left over from the roughly 1800-1950’s in the upper class. Back then, women and men (of the upper class) didn’t hug in public. They may have shook hands, the person of lower status may have curtsies or bowed, depending, and then, the hand kiss.
    However, there is one exception to this rule; traditional dancing. In it, the man was expected to guide the woman’s movements, and so he had to place his hands lower, generally midway down the back, maybe lower if he was being ‘naughty’ (as per the standards of culture).
    Women were however were expected to keep their hands up for two reasons. First, was throwing the dance off. Second was her high heels, which required women to lean on her partners, and if her partner was moving, then his back muscles would be moving, ergo the hands have to be lower, or higher. But women were held to higher standards than men; if her hands slipped a little lower, she’d be talked about and treated like a slut, resulting in women having a higher position of hands in formal dancing.
    As a result, this gets carried into modern society. If you look at movies with dances, even the soppy high school movies’ slow dances, it’s still there. As a result, it’s conditioned into our culture, and so women tend not put their hands lower on guys, and thus end up ‘hogging the hug.’
    It may also be related to the relative size of the woman and man; a man who is a lot bigger than a woman is hard to give a full body hug to.
    Another thing you should note is previous fashions? Think about women in fancy dresses; the stupid corsets, the puffy sleeves, the entire contraptions don’t help anyone move easily, and so women had to avoid hugging (if they did so at all) around a man’s middle.
    There are loads of other things too.. but I’m too lazy to mention them.
    It’s mostly just a vestigial thing left over from previous culture. And yeah, I agree, neck hugs = stupid.

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