Monthly Archives: July 2009

What’s wrong with Satin Sheets?!


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I’m experimenting with satin bedsheets at the moment. Don’t worry, no Bunsen burners or bongs are involved, I am merely trialling for the very first time bedlinen made of satin as was curious to know if it was any good? What’s more, I have black satin sheets! I had no idea until this week that people had such strong prejudices against the kind of people who possess black satin sheets?!

When I casually mentioned my experiment to 3 female friends I was quite shocked at their reaction. I thought mentioning the subject may stimulate a rather safe, if somewhat dull, conversation about good bedlinen, but within seconds they were talking about the extreme likelihood of stains from bodily fluids!

They all said they would run a mile from a guy who had satin sheets, especially black ones, as they would think he was some sort of 1970s pervert with a posing pouch, medallion and a picture of Peter Stringfellow on the wall. I tried to explain that I had got the sheets as purely a comfort exercise and I thought they would be cooler to sleep in as it’s been too hot at night of late here in London. This was irrelevant to them, having satin sheets, for whatever reason, is big no, no!

My satin sheets have, in actual fact, been quite cool and very comfortable but I do have a couple of misgivings. Firstly, as satin is very smooth, there is very little friction and so a slight moment whilst trying to get comfy can lead to a pillow completely taking out the bedside lamp! The second is that people, in particular that breed of humans known as women, think it is awful and hysterical to have them. I was at my friends houseparty on Saturday and the first thing one of her housemates (also female) said to me was “you’re not the one with satin sheets are you?!”

So I feel someone should come to the defence of satin sheets as they totally don’t deserve their reputation! They are genuinely very comfortable and cool in the summer and I didn’t get any dodgy stains on my black sheets. Ironically, within hours of changing back to cotton sheets I managed to create a stain … tea though, honest!

Jake McMillan

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