Monthly Archives: September 2009

Wise Words #2: Friendships

On very rare occasions I utter something that sounds like it could be wise, but may just be jibberish?

“Maintaining friends is like juggling many balls at the same time, so don’t get too upset if you’re a ball that gets dropped from time to time”

Jake McMillan

Wise Words #1: Maturity

Maturity is just knowing when it is okay to be immature


Jake McMillan

What’s wrong with buying a female friend a dildo?

We’re well into the 21st century and I live in a post-feminist London, one of the most modern and progressive cities in the world, but apparently it is “weird” for a bloke to buy a plutonic female friend a vibrator, but it is fine if a female friend buys one for her. Let me run through the exact situation and you can make up your own mind.

This female friend, let’s call her Faloola, is a close and genuinely platonic friend and she feels very comfortable and open about sharing intimate details about her sex life and bodily functions with me. She even thinks it is funny to call me whilst on the loo! She has revealed she does not masturbate and is not really into that. A female friend had bought her a vibrator earlier in the year but she threw it away.

Faloola is fun and good company, but is prone to negativity about pretty much everything in her life and so I came up with a plan for her centred around getting more endorphins. Firstly, she was to start doing more exercise, secondly, have some chocolate and thirdly, well, I think you can guess what the third part of the plan was about.


She wasn’t so keen on the third part as she has never done that before but I did a quick search and found this vibrator starter kit for women who are new to it and/or feel uncomfortable about using a vibrator. I told her she had a surprise coming in the post and that she probably wouldn’t like it, but to call me when she opened it so I could explain its purpose.

If this had come from a female friend it would have been considered a thoughtful and well-intended gift, but because I have dangly bits between my legs it is considered “weird” and “wrong”.  One female friend who is a feminist and generally forward thinking even said that she felt it was wrong but could not explain why.

So what did Faloola actually think about it? Unfortunately, she didn’t call me when she received it and later said she felt slightly insulted that I thought she needed one (as she’s single), but did understand the good intention. Although other female friends think it is weird for me to have done it, they definitely want her to use it. What is your view?

Jake McMillan