What’s wrong with buying a female friend a dildo?


We’re well into the 21st century and I live in a post-feminist London, one of the most modern and progressive cities in the world, but apparently it is “weird” for a bloke to buy a plutonic female friend a vibrator, but it is fine if a female friend buys one for her. Let me run through the exact situation and you can make up your own mind.

This female friend, let’s call her Faloola, is a close and genuinely platonic friend and she feels very comfortable and open about sharing intimate details about her sex life and bodily functions with me. She even thinks it is funny to call me whilst on the loo! She has revealed she does not masturbate and is not really into that. A female friend had bought her a vibrator earlier in the year but she threw it away.

Faloola is fun and good company, but is prone to negativity about pretty much everything in her life and so I came up with a plan for her centred around getting more endorphins. Firstly, she was to start doing more exercise, secondly, have some chocolate and thirdly, well, I think you can guess what the third part of the plan was about.

dildo

She wasn’t so keen on the third part as she has never done that before but I did a quick search and found this vibrator starter kit for women who are new to it and/or feel uncomfortable about using a vibrator. I told her she had a surprise coming in the post and that she probably wouldn’t like it, but to call me when she opened it so I could explain its purpose.

If this had come from a female friend it would have been considered a thoughtful and well-intended gift, but because I have dangly bits between my legs it is considered “weird” and “wrong”.  One female friend who is a feminist and generally forward thinking even said that she felt it was wrong but could not explain why.

So what did Faloola actually think about it? Unfortunately, she didn’t call me when she received it and later said she felt slightly insulted that I thought she needed one (as she’s single), but did understand the good intention. Although other female friends think it is weird for me to have done it, they definitely want her to use it. What is your view?

Jake McMillan



8 responses to “What’s wrong with buying a female friend a dildo?

  • anon

    In all honesty its wrong because a female friend cannot provide that need, so she suggests an alternative, to help in such a situation. You yourself has the ability to encourage those endorphines naturally. Handing a girl a dildo, is as good as saying im impotent. (assuming your single, if your not, its a slap in the face for the girl who clearly can’t get a man)
    I’d be insulted if a girl handed me a fake vagina, id be ashamed she’d think i needed it.

  • Alex Sachter

    If you care so much about her, then why don’t you pleasure her. A: you have a small penis, B:she’s ugly

    • jakemcmillan

      Thanks Alex! 🙂 Neither A or B apply … she isn’t ugly at all, but we’ve been friends for years so it is like suggesting doing something with my sister! Also, I’m not sure how I bring up the subject … “So Faloola, about this endorphins plan, I was going to get you a vibrator but thought you’d prefer the real thing instead!” and then unzip my fly?? 😉

  • Frank

    We’re not all perfectly consistent in living our lives according to our beliefs. You can feel uncomfortable about something without being able to articulate why, and you can be uncomfortable with something even when your beliefs about the situation would suggest that feeling uncomfortable is not necessarily the appropriate response.

  • Procrastinateher

    Nothing wrong with it at all.
    A platonic male friend of mine bought me a vibrator for my birthday, wish he’d gone shopping for it with me because he doesn’t know my uh dimesions, but he did a good job.
    I found this blog whilst trying to search for a way to return the favour to him.
    FYI mine sits in a drawer unused, mostly because I’m so entirely virginal I feel like if I used it I’d never try to find a real partner to share it with.
    🙂

    • jakemcmillan

      Sorry for tardy response, but thanks for your comment and I’m glad you were okay with your platonic male friend buying you a vibrator. A lot of people seem not to understand or think it is really wrong but cannot explain why?

      However, don’t leave it in the drawer, it will not put you off finding a real partner, in fact, it will probably encourage it.

  • Andrew Friend

    I was in the same situation with a close female friend of mine. I really wish people would live in the 21st century!! There is NOTHING wrong with buying a female friend a sex toy. It’s clear from you original post that you are clearly just good close friends.

    For those in the same situation, first of all make it clear to your female friend what you are going to buy her. This way it won’t be a massive shock to her. My friend told me what style and size she wanted. I brought her a transparent pink jelly vibrator. My female friend has told me on several different occasion that she loves using it, and our friendship as NOT been weird in anyway.

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