My Favourite Insult of the Noughties

So much pondering has taken place recently of what has happened in the last decade and this is my humble and trivial contribution, my favourite insult of the the last decade.

Note: this is not a polite insult and quite rightly so. If you feel like using it yourself, then please only do it to a friend as a stranger will: (a) not stay for the full insult, or (b) will hit you before the end of the insult.

THE INSULT (to be used when the person has done something stupid or dumb).

YOU: (to THEM) I want you to imagine a big hairy minge?

THEM: What?

YOU: I need you to picture a really big hairy minge? Can you do that? Have you got a picture of that in your head?

THEM: (confused) er, okay, I am picturing it

YOU: Good. Now, I want you to imagine that big hairy minge has now just doubled in size, okay?

THEM: okay

YOU: Right, the minge has now doubled in size again! Can you picture it? Are you seeing this enormous minge?

THEM: yes

YOU: Excellent, well, that’s how much of a twat you are!

Trust me, if you ever get to do this to someone, it is very satisfying. But use discretion!


Jake McMillan

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