Monthly Archives: April 2010

The Ultimate Dream Island


What would you do if you had a million squillion pounds? Many people will say to buy an island, which would be a very cool thing to do. However, the problem with islands is that they are stuck in one place and you are always a long way away from the rest of the world. Well, with my island that doesn’t have to be true.

My island moves.

If I had a squillion pounds I would get someone to build my motorised island concept. Essentially it is a man-made island that has been built onto a colossal ship. The edge of this highly-customised ship allows for water to surround the island and not be subjected to the harsh waves of the sea.

The crude illustration below will perhaps make the concept clearer:

Top view of the Island Ship

The full extent of the island features has not been finalised but it is expected to include the following:

  • Large mansion house with views across the whole island –  with a cinema room, of course
  • 6-10 small but comfortable guest houses for visitors
  • Entry/Exit barrier – allowing for boats to enter and leave the island ship
  • Harbour
  • Runway and helipad – visitors, deliveries, etc.
  • Caves
  • Tennis/Basketball Court
  • Boat house – for water sports equipment, jet skis, etc.
  • Trees, landscaped gardens, watered lawns
  • Connecting roads (from harbour to house/guest houses)
  • A small karting and rally track

I will let clever engineers work out all the details, how much water it can carry without sinking, etc. I estimate that the ship will be approximately 1,800m in length, which is about 4 times the length of the longest ship in the world, the Supertanker Knock Nevis (485.5m in length).

I’ve shared this idea with quite a few people and the reaction has been quite mixed. Some people seem to fully embrace the idea and would love to come and visit it. Others are very sceptical and dubious and simply say it would never work. One person recently suggested I would be breaking an International Movement of Land Mass law??!

I don’t think such a law exists.

It is a bit Bond villain-esque, but I promise I would be nice and it wouldn’t be part of my plan to rule the world. I would actually just like to stay on my private island and travel round the world and have friends and family visit.

So, if it existed, would you want to come and visit? Do you have any ideas to make the island even better?

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Top 10 Definitive Bond Girls – No.6 Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet)


<<< No.7 Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova

No.5 Honey Ryder >>>

Character: 85     Hotness: 83        Impact: 81           Overall Score: 571,455

(click here for scoring methodology)

Melina Havelock in the 1981 film For Your Eyes Only is not the typical Bond Girl who meets James Bond, is seduced by him and then helps him with his mission. Melina (played by French actress Carole Bouquet) has her own mission, revenge for the murder of her parents and uses James Bond to help achieve her own objective.

Melina is an intelligent half-British, half-Greek marine archaeologist, like her father, and at the beginning of the film she is clearly happy and radiant when visiting her parents. When they are brutally shot to their death by hitman Hector Gonzales, Melina changes to being very serious and single-minded on the task of killing Gonzales. This is how James Bond and Melina meet and after he reveals to Melina that her father was also working for the British Government, they end up working together.

Although in mourning and not a happy character for most of the film, Melina’s sultry demeanour is very attractive and she has to be one of the most sophisticated and classy of the Bond girls and also probably has the longest hair. There are no scenes where she needs to be seen in a bikini, but manages to pull off looking sexy in a garish yellow submarine suit.

She is not trained for dangerous spy work, but shows tremendous courage, passion and dedication to her cause and to helping 007. Her character is strong; she is very naturally beautiful and is well remembered 30 years later which is why she appears in the top ten list.

After she has fulfilled her mission and helped James complete his, we see a happier Melina who can now start to ‘enjoy’ her time with James Bond.

Melina: [as Bond begins to open up her robe] For your eyes only, darling… [her robe falls to the ground, leaving her completely naked]

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Carole Bouquet at Wikipedia

Fan site – http://www.carolebouquet.net/

<<< No.7 Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova

No.5 Honey Ryder >>>

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Top 10 Definitive Bond Girls – No.7 Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova (Barbara Bach)


<<< No. 8 – Naomi

No.6 – Melina Havelock >>>

Character: 84     Hotness: 81        Impact: 81           Overall Score: 551,124
(click here for scoring methodology)

Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova is not simply just a Bond Girl, she is also a top secret agent, just as much respected by the KGB as 007 is by the British Secret Service (MI6). Just like No.8 on this top ten list, Naomi (Caroline Munro), Anya (played by Barbara Bach, also known as Mrs Ringo Starr) stars in the 1977 Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me.

In a way, Anya should score more on character than she actually does as she should be as interesting a character as James Bond is. She is not simply a dolly bird love interest, but her interaction and relationship with James Bond goes through some interesting developments.

Early on in the film she learns that her fellow Russian agent and lover has been killed but she is a professional and will proceed with her assignment. Being a KGB agent, she naturally has no trust whatsoever of James Bond and when they are forced to work together, they gradually earn each other’s trust and respect.

James Bond: Oh, by the way, thanks for deserting me back there.
Major Anya Amasova: Every woman for herself, remember?
James Bond: Still, you did save my life.
Major Anya Amasova: We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond.

The relationship develops even further and they become intimate. Just when things are going so well between them, she learns that it was James Bond who killed her lover and she wants revenge. She will complete her mission with him as he always does her duty for her country, but after that all bets are off. It makes for an interesting dynamic between the two of them.

The reason Anya does not score a little higher than she does, although she does have a high score, is that she lacks a little in personality. She is too efficient, dutiful and robotic, whereas James Bond shows more panache and flair.

Triple X is definitely a beautiful lady and I’m sure that someone that hot would actually find it hard to perform secret agent type activities. Even during action sequences she looks elegant and sophisticated.

She features strongly in the film and is well remembered, not just because she also married Ringo Starr, perhaps because she is the subject of title of the film, but because her she is a worthy Bond Girl who has an excellent mix of good character and sex appeal.

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Barbara Bach at Wikipedia

Fan site – www.barbarabach.org

<<< No. 8 – Naomi

No.6 – Melina Havelock >>>

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Top 10 Definitive Bond Girls – No.8 Naomi (Caroline Munro)


<<< No.9 – Dr. Christmas Jones

No. 7 – Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova >>>

Character: 69     Hotness: 91        Impact: 87           Overall Score: 546,273
(click here for scoring methodology)

Naomi’s inclusion in the ‘definitive’ top ten Bond Girls is a clear justification of this more scientific approach to the ratings as even though she does not appear very much in the 1977 film The Spy Who Loved Me, she is remembered very fondly over 20 years later.

As a loyal henchlady of villain Karl Stromberg (Curd Jurgens), Naomi (played by the uber-sexy British actress Caroline Munro), she is a ruthless killer as well as a skilled helicopter pilot. However, she does not score particularly high on character as we do not see much of her character and what we do see is someone who is very much a Stromberg puppet who does not really use her own mind.

However, what she lacks in character she more than makes up in hotness. You simply cannot take your eyes off her when she firsts meets James Bond (Roger Moore) and Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova (Barbara Bach), who are posing as marine biologists, wearing only a bikini and not much else. Even when she is pursuing 007 and Anya in the helicopter, she manages to ooze sexuality even when performing villainous acts.

Naomi does not appear in the film very much, but her impact was very strong and you are slightly disappointed when she and her helicopter get blown up as you want to see more of her. She is one of those characters that you remember well but are quite surprised and pleased to realise lots of other people to do too.

Naomi, you will always be remembered.

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<<< No.9 – Dr. Christmas Jones

No. 7 – Major Anya ‘Triple X’ Amasova >>>

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Top 10 Definitive Bond Girls – No.9 Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards)


<<< No.10 – Fiona Volpe

No. 8 – Naomi >>>

Character: 81     Hotness: 81        Impact: 82           Overall Score: 544,644
(click here for scoring methodology)

Dr. Christmas Jones may be viewed as a controversial entry to a top ten Bond Girls list, however, Dr. Christmas Jones played with gusto by Denise Richards in 1999’s The World is Not Enough ably qualifies as a definitive top ten Bond Girl.

She scores well in all categories. She has a strong character, being not only smart as a nuclear scientist, but someone also who proves herself to be very brave and ballsy.

Her character is no push over and is not particularly friendly to James Bond when she first meets him, when she thinks he is a Russian nuclear energy physicist. Once she learns the truth, she fully commits to 007’s cause and proves to be a useful ally.

She does not have to help James Bond, but chooses to do so and provides real help, rather than simply being eye candy. She is not afraid to get dirty and involved in the dangerous action.

Dr. Christmas Jones is the hottest nuclear scientist you will ever see. Not many people can pull off looking sexy whilst disarming a bomb, but Denise Richards does it very well. From her sexy combat shorts in the nuclear bunker to svelte evening dress, she very much looks the part as a Bond Girl.

She made a big impact in the film and seems to be well remembered as time goes by. Her unusual name also enabled the funniest last line in a James Bond film.

James Bond: [in bed with Jones] I was wrong about you.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, how so?
James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

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<<< No.10 – Fiona Volpe

No. 8 – Naomi >>>

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Top 10 Definitive Bond Girls – No.10 Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi)


No.9 Dr. Christmas Jones >>>

Character: 81     Hotness: 79         Impact: 85            Overall Score: 543,915
(click here for scoring methodology)

The top ten countdown begins perhaps controversially with a bad Bond girl, Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi), who is an assassin working for SPECTRE in the 1965 film Thunderball.

She is most definitely not a weak bimbo who fawns over James Bond, quite the opposite. She is a tough, independent, resourceful and cold-blooded woman who uses her sexuality and intelligence to get what she wants.

She is definitely a ‘sexy chick’ who likes to wear motorbike leather, especially when riding a BSA bike equipped with deadly rocket! When she first meets James Bond, she picks him up in her Ford Mustang convertible and then scares him with the speed of her driving.

Later in the film she kills another Bond girl, Paula Caplan (Martine Beswick), before infamously waiting for Bond in a sexy scene in his hotel bath tub. After they sleep together she reveals her true SPECTRE motives and boasts that she is definitely not like other girls who can be seduced into joining 007’s cause.

[after they sleep together]
James Bond: My dear girl, don’t flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for Queen and country. You don’t think it gave me any pleasure, do you?
Fiona: But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, the one where he has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents, and turns to the side of right and virtue…
[she steps on Bond’s foot]
Fiona: … but not this one!

Played beautifully by Italian Luciana Paluzzi who actually auditioned for the role of Domino Derval (she lost out to Claudine Auger) but was thrilled to get the part of Fiona Volpe as it was a much more interesting and enjoyable part.

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Luciana Paluzzi’s official site www.lucianapaluzzi.com

 

 

No. 9 Dr. Christmas Jones >>>

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The Definitive Top 10 Bond Girls


You would think that something like the Top 10 Bond Girls has been done to death wouldn’t you?

In a way it has and each new Bond film released helps to resurrect the argument about which of the Bond Girls is best. It’s an easy news article to generate and creates good discussion as it is purely subjective opinion and more often than not, both the most recent and the original Bond Girl will feature highly.

The year is 2010 and so isn’t it long overdue to leave this tired subject alone? Yes … OR?!… we could go the other way and do it better and make the ratings more scientific and geeky?

Guess which way I went.

To rate each Bond Girl I used the following 3 criteria, rather than just the normal one, to determine overall who is best:

1)      Character – How good is the Bond Girl’s character, is she just a wet blanket eye candy (e.g Miss Goodnight (Britt Ekland) in The Man with the Golden Gun) or does she have an interesting character that shows depth (e.g. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) in Casino Royale)?

2)      Hotness – How hot/beautiful/sexy is the actress at the time of playing the part?

3)      Impact – The impact of the Bond Girl in the film and over time? Has she or will she be remembered?

Each of the above aspects is important in assessing which is the best Bond Girl, but on their own are not enough to reach a valid conclusion.

To qualify as a Bond Girl, the character has to be in an official James Bond film and has to come into actual contact with 007 at some point in the film (M and Moneypenney have been excluded).

Each Bond Girl character is rated out of 100 for each criteria and then the 3 marks are multiplied together to get an overall definitive Bond Girl score. The combination of these 3 criteria means that a more accurate rating can be obtained. There is still a large element of subjectivity, of course, but this helps minimise its effect and have polled many people to produce this, particularly about ‘impact’.

For example, the character Holly Goodhead in Moonraker (1979) played by Lois Chiles is a great Bond girl, she’s an intelligent and very capable CIA agent as well as being an astronaut pilot and does not succumb easily to James Bond’s charms. She is beautiful and although her character is very strong, her impact is not as strong as many other Bond Girls and so does not make the top 10.

Holly Goodhead scores 82 for character, 83 for hotness and 75 for impact to get a total score of 510,450 and was 16th in the overall placing of Top Bond girls.

There are 3 British, 3 French, 2 American, 1 Italian and 1 Swiss actresses that make up the top ten definitive bond girls.

Click here to begin the countdown, starting with the No.10 Definitive Bond Girl >>>