Don’t make me get my hair cut

I’ve never liked going to the hairdressers and I’m not looking forward to my appointment tomorrow.

Maybe it’s because I’m a man and have in-built sexist views, but I always feel like I don’t belong in such establishments. Tomorrow’s appointment is at a proper salon place, Rush, where there are never any men there, it is always mostly female staff and customers.

They all smile at me and are very welcoming and nice, but I get that ‘you’re not one of us’ looks. I’m allowed to go in and visit but I’m on their turf and I will never be part of the gang.

I could go to a more male-centric barber but that would not really make much of a difference as my real issues with having my haircut are that I resent having to get it done and the banal conversations you have to have with whoever is cutting your hair.

I know hairdressers are skilled people but I hate having to pay someone to take something that is mine away from me! I feel like I am being exploited by the fact that I can’t cut my own hair due to biological/dexterity limitations.  I’m not there by choice, I’m there because I have to be there and I have to pay for it.

I’ve not yet had a haircut in 2010 and pleased but also concerned at the same time that my hair has not grown that fast so although my hair does need cutting it does not look, in my totally biased opinion, ridiculous. I’ve also got some grey hairs and having it cut shorter always makes it look more grey.

The haircut chat is what bugs me the most as it is all so unnatural to have a mirror-based conversation with someone. The hairdresser is just by your ear and so talks quietly but as you are faced front you have to raise your voice or shout so they can hear you. I’m always getting told off for turning to look at the hairdresser when speaking to them.

I sit there uncomfortably waiting for the inevitable moment the ‘going away anywhere nice on holiday?’ question gets asked, which is, so I’m reliably informed, on page 1 of the Hairdresser Book of Safe Banter. As much as I feel like being controversial and say I am doing a tour of Asia to find the best value prostitutes, I always end up being nice and tomorrow will fully engage in a mundane conversation about my upcoming trip to Spain.

Find out what happened at the appointment, it didn’t go well >>>

It seems I’m not only the only one who does not enjoy going to the hairdressers. Here’s comedian David Mitchell explaining his reasons:

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