Had a haircut?

Regular readers of this blog will know I am not a big fan of getting my haircut. It is not just the actual process of going to the hairdressers that I hate, but the inevitable inane, annoying and downright dumb comments that people say when they notice your hair looks different.

The reason I find this annoying is that the person usually spots your hair and rather than just waiting a second to process what they’ve seen, they blurt out something stupid or redundant. People will say things such as:

“You’ve had a haircut” – this is, in fact, a statement but is said in a way that the person saying it wants you to respond. When you answer a simple “Yes”, they then seem to struggle with what to say next?

Sometimes people just say “Haircut?” as if this is an acceptable question?

If people just took that second longer to think about what they have seen before speaking, they could come up with a more socially proficient comment such as “I like your hair/Your hair is looking good, have you had it cut recently?”, “Have you changed your hairstyle?”

To combat these comments, I use some of the following responses to prevent me from wanting to harm the person who spoke them.

Statement My Response
(to be said dryly with a hint of derision)
“Had a haircut?” “Yes, many times in my life”.
“Have a haircut?” “No thanks, I’ve just had one”
“You’ve had a haircut” “You’re wearing clothes” [then when they look confused], “Oh, I am sorry; I thought we were just making obvious statements about each other?”
“Haircut?” “I actually prefer people to call me Jake rather than Herr Kutt … as that is not my name and I’m not German”
“I like your hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”

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