by Jake McMillan
Do you believe in the One? That you have one true soul-mate out there who is absolutely perfect for you above all others?
I hope not.
Believers will say it is just because I have not met mine yet. The reality is you cannot really prove it either way, but regardless of your view on this, it can affect your approach to dating.
Although I do not believe in “the one”, I have had a long relationship that I believed was something special and although it did not go the distance (I ended it), it has coloured my view when meeting potential dates.
I wasn’t looking to meet the same kind of girl, but if I met someone I didn’t get that special feeling for, the feeling that this could be something really special, then I would not be interested. If it didn’t feel as good as the feeling I had when I met the girl from my good relationship, then why should I bother wasting my time and theirs?
Friends said I needed to lower my standards or criteria, but you cannot help the way you feel when you meet someone. I would like to be less ‘picky’, but it is easier said than done.
The first step is to recognise that you are picky when it comes to dating. The next is to realise that some people are what my friend likes to call ‘growers’, that their appeal grows as you get to know them, even if you weren’t initially very attracted to them.
Accept that there are no definite rules of attraction, some people get the love at first sight and others they fall in love with someone they have known or been friends with for many years.
You just don’t know how it might happen so why limit your possibilities? Give that date you weren’t too keen on, but they seemed okay, another chance. Most times your initial feelings about them will stay the same (or get worse!), but every now and again you will be surprised and, who knows, maybe the start of something special you never expected.