The Ultimate Male Fantasy


by Jake McMillan

Warning to women: the below is juvenile un-pc ‘man chat’ and probably best avoided if you don’t want to be annoyed or outraged. I’m very sorry.

Speaking with my good pals in the pub the other day it was decided that the ultimate male fantasy would be to be married to a shapeshifter like Mystique from the X-Men.

The idea is that you get to be with a woman you get along with and can talk to, but she has the ability to look like any woman you like.The possibilities are endless!

It means you can spend the night with women who you think are attractive but you know their personalities in real life would really get on your tits. When all you would prefer to be doing is getting on theirs.

At the beginning of each month, say, what you would do is hand your missus a schedule of women she needed to look like each night … simple. So, if you wanted to sleep with the entire female BBC News-reading team (as my mate seems to want to) you could do so.

You would probably need to schedule a few nights of your wife just looking like she does normally just so she doesn’t get offended.

The schedule would not have to be limited to people alive today, you could show a picture of someone from the past to include them on the list: Marilyn Monroe, a young Audrey Hepburn or Raquel Welch?

Just think of the fun you could have! You wouldn’t be cheating as you would be with your wife all the time.

So which attractive women with annoying personalities might make your list? (any of the below?)

Jordan (Katie Price)


Nicole Scherzinger


Amy Childs (The Only Way is Essex)


Jodie Marsh (does anyone know how or why she is famous?)

Geri Halliwell

Carol Vorderman

Melody Hossaini (from 2011 UK 'The Apprentice')




4 responses to “The Ultimate Male Fantasy

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