I was driving through the New Forest (in Hampshire, UK) last weekend and realised that the name New Forest is slightly odd and misleading for a Forest that was established in the 11th Century. I thought I had better write a letter to Hampshire County Council to complain.
The below is a genuine email sent to the entire Cabinet of Hampshire County Council (Ken Thomber, Keith Chapman, Raymond Ellis, Felicity Hindson, Mel Kendall, Keith Mans & Roy Perry):
Dear Sirs and Madam,
I visited the New Forest last weekend for the first time and I was extremely unhappy. I was expecting to see a nice new forest and it was quite clear when I arrived that it had been there for ages!!
Therefore, I am launching a campaign for the ‘New’ Forest to change its name.
It really is a blatant case of false advertising. I made the journey from London, with my wife Judy (and her emotionally challenged sister Maggie), in good faith and when I arrived and realised I had been tricked and deceived by your lies I was very upset and disappointed, so much so that I could not speak for the whole journey home.
Not even a stop at the mostly excellent Fleet Services for a latte and a macaroon could lighten my mood. Judy and Maggie were also quite perturbed, although this was in part due to a questionable banoffee pie they consumed.
When I got home and my anger had subsided, I conducted some research on the world wide interweb and discovered that the so called New Forest is not even remotely new! It has been there since the 11th Century when William I created it as a Royal Forest in about 1079. Your Hampshire CountyCouncil website even talks about Jane Austen visiting it 200 years ago in the early 19th Century.
No, this simply isn’t on and I refuse to let you continue with this increasingly ridiculous charade that dupes innocent people day after day.
The name must be changed to something appropriate, perhaps one of the following:
- · insert ‘(but actually old)‘ after New Forest in all publicity materials & signs
- · The Forest formally known as New Forest
- · The Old Forest (it is nearly 1,000 yrs old after all?)
- · McMillan Forest (I would be truly humbled)
Please can you get back to me by return with your plan of action to rectify this scandalous error.
I may not reply immediately as I will be going on a short holiday to New York.
Jake McMillan (and Judy, but not Maggie)
If you would also like to make the same complaint to Hampshire County Council, please click here to email all the members of the Cabinet.
I would like to say though that the New Forest is actually very nice and there is lots to see and do there! Check out www.newforest.co.uk