Category Archives: Dating

10 Great Questions to Ask on a First Date


by Jake McMillan

First Date 1st Date (5)

First dates can be nerve-wracking and awkward at times and even if conversation is free-flowing, it is always good to have some questions in your back pocket just in case there is a stutter in conversation and/or you want to get to know the person a bit better. Internet searches on this subject will bring back a lot of questions to use that are, in reality, not very good as they are trying to be too clever, too relationship-focused or just too lame (e.g. what is your star sign?).

A good question to ask on a first date is one that helps you get to know the other person better in a relaxed manner as well as keeping conversation flowing in an interesting and fun way.

So here are some suggestions of good questions to ask your date:
(note: you don’t need to use all of them, or in any particular order, but do ask them at relevant moments and be ready to answer the question yourself too)

1. What movies do you hate?
Don’t be cynical, asking about movies is really good as it doesn’t seem like a personal question, but actually the movies we love and hate reveal a lot about us. The characters and stories we are drawn to or repulsed by are often quite insightful to our own personalities, our aspirations and our morals. However, if you ask someone what their favourite movie is, they will be put under pressure to say something acceptable and will often say a film they like a lot that is generally perceived to be cool and interesting rather than their actual favourite which is usually a more personal choice.

Asking someone what movies they hate is a much easier and more fun question to answer and can lead very comfortably conversation-wise to movies they enjoy or have seen recently. For example, my answer to this question is ‘Mamma Mia’ and this often leads to great discussion and banter.

2. Who do you admire or look up to?
This seems like a question about someone else, but actually it reveals a lot about the person by highlighting the attributes they have or would like to have themselves. Warning, do not throw this question in willy nilly, make sure it is appropriate/relevant to your conversation or it will seem too obvious you are probing and put the person under pressure.

3. What is your favourite swear word?
I think the more general question of ‘what is your favourite word?’ is a good question, but perhaps more appropriate with friends. On a date, you want to make things interesting, fun and maybe a little bit provocative now and again. How someone answers this question can also be very revealing. Someone more straight-laced may struggle with it, but someone fun and free will get stuck into this question.

My answer to this question is ‘bollocks’, there is just something great about how you can say it. If you have been having flirty conversation, you might answer, for example, by saying that you like a nice ‘fuck’ now and again. Use of the c-bomb should be cautioned, however.

First Date

4. Are your friends with mostly men or women?
This is a good lead into them talking about their friends and the people that are important to them. Also, it can lead to the person talking about how their own gender perceives them. You can follow up with, ‘Who is your best friend?’, ‘Can men and women every really be friends?’. Yes, is the answer to the latter.

5. Do you prefer dogs or cats?
This does seem like a very average mundane/lame question to ask, but it can be a great conversation starter. Their answer actually doesn’t really matter as if you have different views then you can have a fun discussion about why which animal is best. If someone doesn’t like either, then this again reveals something about them. If they do have a preference, then this will lead them onto talking about a favourite pet and this is a good positive emotion to bring out.

6. Do you have a favourite birthday?
This is another positive emotion type question that can really open up a conversation. It will inevitably lead them to describe the birthday and why it was so good (revealing about themselves) as well as leaving lots of great opportunities for follow up questions.

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
This is a good question as I have not come across anyone who does not remember their first kiss and also introduces the thought of the act of kissing in a completely inoffensive way. The first kiss, regardless or whether it was good or bad, is normally a fun and nice memory to talk about and will open the door to related topics.

First Date

8. Do you have bendy ears?
I know, I know, this seems like a mad question, but try it and see it what happens. Some people have more bendy ears (as in they can be folded) as the cartilage in the ear is not as rigid. This is a fun thing to ask and get them to do as if you do it right, then you will get them to feel your ear and/or you feeling them. This is a fun and non-sexual way of introducing bodily contact. It also often leads to demonstrations of other odd things people can do with their bodies.

9. Who do you take after most, your mum or your dad?
This is a good lead into finding out about their family, but also will inadvertently get them to reveal the traits about themselves. If they say a bit of both (which is common) then ask them which traits they get from which.

10. Do you say either (pronounced ‘e-tha’) or either (‘i-tha’)?
This is actually a silly joke question as whatever answer they say, you will answer, ‘but which one?’ If they look confused, follow up with ‘do you say neither (‘knee-tha’) or neither (‘ny-tha’)?’ Although a silly question, how the person responds will show what sort of sense of humour they have.

Related Posts
10 Things Not To Do On A First Date
Internet First Dates
Bad Things To Say On A First Date (personal experiences)
A New Low In Ridiculous Things To Say On A First Date
Getting The Girl To Pay For Dinner


Overcoming Women’s Height Prejudices


by Jake McMillan

Through the relationship blog Bounce Off, that I co-write, we are currently running a poll on the differing views of men and women when it comes to their preferred height of their partner. As I write this, the voting has only just started but I expect the results to show that women are far more particular than men about the height of the person they are seeing.

It’s not just as simple as women wanting to go out with someone taller than them. Women want to go out with someone who is taller than them whilst wearing heels! The situation is getting worse as the trend at the moment seems to be that heels are getting even taller with platforms on the front part of the shoe. Only a woman can artificially raise her height and then judge a man from it.

Men, on the other hand, are less picky in this regard. So, what are men who are average height or below meant to do? If you are a man of average height (roughly 5ft 8 inches/173cm) then the women you should be aiming at relationship-wise will be a maximum of 5ft 5inches or less, to take account of her heels.

This seems a little unfair doesn’t it? The options are:

A) Change the perception of women across the world

B) Just accept this unfair situation

C) Find something practical to address the situation

Considering how difficult it is to change the perception of just one woman, I think option A is out of the question. Option B is a last resort, so that leaves option C, what could be done practically to resolve this? You could destroy all the heeled shoes in the world, but they would just keep making more.

If you can’t beat them, join them! I’ve come to the conclusion that to resolve the situation men should artificially raise their height too. Maybe not with high-heeled shoes though, but with shoes that have discreet platforms and/or lifts that raise the height of men by at least a couple of inches. This means a 5ft8 man becomes 5ft10 and all of sudden has the possibility of pulling women between 5ft 6-7inches tall that he wasn’t able to before.

Related Posts:
The 3 Types of Girlfriend
The Dating Milestones
Women Asking Men Out
10 Things NOT to do on a First Date
How Low do You Go?
The Relationship Evaluation Sketch
Getting the Girl to Pay for Dinner


Advice for Single Ladies


by Jake McMillan

Are you a single lady? If so, you might like reading some advice for single ladies produced, I think, in the 1950s in the US. Advice such as:

DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly.

Read more of these on the Bounce Off website.

Related Posts:
Bad Things to Say on a First Date
A New Low in Ridiculous Things to Say on a Date
10 Things NOT to do on a First Date
Getting the Girl to Pay for Dinner


How to be a Good Cupid (Bounce Off)


by Jake McMillan

Do you know how to be an effective cupid and matchmaker? Read the Cupid Guide I produced for the Bounce Off website.


A Genius Way to Dump Someone?


by Jake McMillan
The following story is absolutely true. Cross my heart and hope to die.

I was at a good friend’s house and her flatmate was telling us how this guy had ended things with her after about 3-4 weeks of dating. He had found this most amazing, if somewhat ridiculous, way of dumping her without making her think she had done anything wrong or that he didn’t fancy her anymore.
“It’s not you, it’s me”, is a line that is often used and although it is meant to be a kind way of breaking up, the person hearing it will always think they are actually saying is, “it’s not me, it’s you”. This chap, however, found of way saying, “it’s not you and it’s not me”.
About a week before he ended things he confided in her that he has a ghost following him around all the time. He doesn’t like to talk to people about it, so he said to her, and mostly life is okay but sometimes the ghost is unhappy with what it is going on and makes his life difficult by talking to him or physically touching him. Nuts huh?
Well, when he ended things with this girl he said that he really liked her but that the ghost didn’t like him seeing her and he would have to end things as his life would be made really difficult by his spiritual companion.

I never met the guy so I don’t know if he really is haunted by a ghost,or is mad or is just using a line to enable him to finish things nicely with women he dates. Whichever it is, the end result was that he was able to dump her without it being a big emotional deal.


30 Great Dating Facts (Bounce Off)


By Jake McMillan

Here is a list of 30 Great Dating Facts I compiled for the website Bounce Off >>>

From the origins of speed-dating, what colour men should wear on a first date, how many work relationships end in marriage to the history of agony aunts, there are some really interesting facts you need to know about dating and relationships.


10 Great Questions to Ask on A First Date (Bounce Off)


by Jake McMillan (for the Bounce Off site)

There seem to be many sites out in the webosphere that offer advice on good questions to ask on a first date. However, I think a lot of them are quite poor as they are trying to be too clever, too relationship-focused, too confrontational or just too lame (e.g. what is your star sign?).

A good question to ask on a first date is one that helps you get to know the other person better in a relaxed manner as well as keeping conversation flowing in an interesting and fun way.

CLICK HERE to read the questions on the Bounce Off website.