Okay here’s the thing, I’m 33 years of age and met this lovely French lady (let’s call her ‘V’) who has agreed to meet me for a date BUT she’s only 20 years old. My friends are divided as to whether I am too old for her or not. She doesn’t know how old I am and several friends suggest strongly I should lie about this. She is going back to France in a couple of months anyway, we’re both adults and it is likely only ever going to be a bit of fun, so what’s the harm?
If 20 years old is too young for me, then what is the lowest age that is acceptable for me? Does it not depend on the person rather than just the age? For example, I have one female friend well into her 30s who is far less emotionally mature than women I know in their early 20s. If V is mature and is happy with the situation, then what is the problem?
Apparently they say, whoever ‘they’ are, that the rule for adults on how low you can go is that you halve your age and add 7. Therefore, at 33, the lowest age I could date is 23.
Friends say that if you want anything long term then it is doomed if there is too much of an age gap. However, there are lots of examples where this isn’t the case. Jonathan Ross is 10 years older than his wife Jane and first started dating her when she was 16. Jerry Lee Lewis married a 13 year old (he was 22) and Michael Douglas is 25 years older than Catherine Zeta Jones. Some people seem to really be against such large age gaps, particularly when the woman is the older party, but then others say when it comes to love, age means nothing.
Will I lie about my age though? Yes, I probably will and have already thought to say 27, but to a 20 year old this is still quite old. Anyone over 25 is old at that age! The reason I expect I will lie is not because I want to deliberately or maliciously deceive her, but because I expect that even if she does like me then there is a chance she will think 33 is just too old.
However, a lie is a lie and if I say I am 27 then I am not giving her the free choice to decide for herself. My flatmate went out with a much older guy when she was 20 and he was 36. They had been going out months before he told her his true age and although she was very shocked they stayed together for a couple of years.
So, I am not pushing for the date to happen and have left the ball in her court as she has my number and needs to contact me to confirm arrangements, but will definitely go if she calls. However, am not sure whether to lie or just maybe avoid the subject completely???
Jake McMillan
21st Century Boy 