Stop Using Your Phone At The Cinema!

by Jake McMillan

Just stop it will you! There is no need. Stop being a dick. Please stop checking your phone whilst watching a film at the cinema.

Thankfully, gone are the days when some people actually answered a phone call during a movie. However, there are still lots of people who feel the need to regularly check their phone during the film for text messages, emails, Facebook updates, etc.  If you are one of these people, please just stop it.

You’re not at home, you are in dark room with lots of other people who have paid to watch a cinematic spectacle in the dark. When you check your phone, everyone to the side  of you and behind you DOES see it and IS distracted by it. Why should our enjoyment of a film be tainted just because Bob, someone who you don’t even know that well, sent you a SongPop request.

The point of going to the cinema to watch a film rather than watching a DVD or Blu-Ray is that you are paying for the privilege of watching it in silence in the dark on the big screen surrounded by others who also want to do the same. We pay over the odds to do this so that we can enjoy the film without the distractions and annoyances of daily life. No knocks at the door, no interruptions,  no pets jumping on you wanting to be fed, no phone calls, no anything … just you watching a film.

If you can’t handle spending two hours doing this, then don’t go into the fucking cinema in the first place. Expecting to hear your wife is about to go into labour? Rent a DVD or watch one online.

There is no need to check your phone in the cinema as we all know your life really isn’t that important and interesting that it can’t wait 90mins before dealing with. When you check your phone, the rest of us can all see it and we all then realise you are a total bellend.

So, cinema goers, pretty please … with sugar on top. Stop with your fucking phone.

Do you know the unwritten rules of modern communication?

With the proliferation of communication mechanisms in the last 20 years you will have noticed and conformed to as well broken the unwritten etiquette of modern communication.

For example, if someone communicates to you using a certain form of communication, e.g. Email, then you are expected to respond using the same form of communication or something higher up on the hierarchy.

The communication hierarchy is as follows:

Do people still write letters?!

If you respond with a lower form of communication, e.g. one person calls and leaves a voicemail and the other emails back, then the first person might feel snubbed, but it will depend, of course, on the nature/content of the message.

However, the communication hierarchy has an almost inverse correlation to the unwritten social convention of how quickly you are meant to respond to the various forms of communication without seeming rude.

The following table outlines the amount of time with which you are meant to respond to a general ‘how are you doing?’ contact:

Type of Contact	Acceptable Response Time
SMS/Text Message	Within 24hrs
Missed Call (with Voicemail)	Within 2 days
Missed Call (No Voicemail)	Within 6 days
Email	Within 5 days
Letter	Within a month
IM Message	No response actually required

These response times can be considerably reduced depending on who is communicating to you and the nature of the communication, for example, if it is your partner, your boss or your mum!

Normally we instinctively know these rules but we all occasionally get them wrong, or some have different views of what the rules are, and then we end up offending someone.

Some people prefer to use certain forms of communication, e.g. my mate Alex always calls and practically never texts, where another Kim always texts and never calls.

We all know people who are particularly poor at responding to any sort of messages. I have one friend like this, but they do it to everyone so some think this is okay. I don’t. I think not responding to a communication shows lack of consideration and respect.

It doesn’t matter how busy you are everyone can spare the few seconds it takes to email or text a friend ‘Hey, how’s it going? Super busy at the moment but will be in touch in a few weeks’.

We have all been offended by someone else’s poor communication, but do we have a right to be upset with them if the rules are unwritten?

Timing the 2nd Date Request

You’ve had that great date, or met someone cool at a party or a club. You felt a good connection and definitely want to see them again – but when do you send that text message to propose a follow-up get together?

Too soon and you will be seen as too eager and desperate, whereas if you leave it too long they will think you’re not interested or someone who is probably just after a shag. Why do we play this silly game in which the timing of the message seems to be more important than the content?

We have no rule book explaining when it is the right time to communicate, and this leads to incessant analysis of how interested the other person really is, based on the timing of their SMS message. If I had a pound for every time a female friend has asked my opinion in the last few months on whether a guy is really interested based on a text message received, I would be able to afford an iPhone.

 

In particular, why is it such a social no-no to text someone straight away if a date has gone well? Of course, texting several times will make you seem like a stalker, but a single message conveying that you had a great time and would like to meet up again is seen as “too keen” if it is sent within 24 hours. Yet, it seems it would be cherished after 48 hours.

My female friends apparently think that men are rubbish at texting, and find it very difficult to interpret the guy’s interest in them. They are turned off by over-keenness and confused by delayed messages, particularly from guys they are really keen on. Women think more carefully about their communications, whereas men are much simpler in their approach. It is our simplicity that confuses the hell out of women and it is women’s complexity that confuses us men folk.

It’s really, really easy, ladies – if a guy hasn’t contacted you within three days, then he just isn’t that into  you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like  you or doesn’t want to meet you again, he just hasn’t felt that super connection or desire. No excuses can hide the fact that if a guy really likes you he will want to get in touch again straight away.

It is only the fear of being seen as desperate that will cause us to wait to communicate. But why should we wait?

Jake McMillan