Fast Forward Anxiety

by Jake McMillan

Do you suffer from fast-forward anxiety? This occurs when you’re watching a recorded programme with other people and you need to fast forward through the advertisements. As you fast-forward the others will silently judge you on the speed of fast-forwarding (FF) you use and whether you can stop at the correct point.

For example, I live with three other people at the moment and we each FF the Sky+ box in different ways. One of them FF at only 2x as she is scared to make a mistake, whereas I am the alpha male, remote-wise, and will FF at 30x.

As I FF in my manly loose canon way, I can see out of the corner of my eye the anxiety and stress caused in the others as they think I am going too fast. “He’ll never be able to stop in time” they think. You can see the relief as they let out a breath as the FF stops as the programme resumes.

The more you notice the anxiety caused by this social situation, the more anxiety it will create in you as you feel the stress to perform. Only the other day I prematurely ejaculated FF-wise and hit play way too soon.

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