Category Archives: friendship

Top 5 Buddy Movies

by Jake McMillan

Here are 5 movies that not only epitomise friendship, but are better films because of the chemistry of the buddy relationship.

1. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Paul Newman and Robert Redford are simply superb as amiable bank-robbers Butch and Sundance portraying a very real and genuine friendship.

The nature of their conversation whilst surrounded by the Bolivian Army and facing almost certain death reveals their friendship:

2. Lethal Weapon 2

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover sizzle as the odd pairing of cops, Riggs crazy and out of control and Murtaugh the careful good family man who is about to retire.

3. Superbad

Jonah Hill and Michael Cera as best friends Seth and Evan, but are about to head off to different colleges.

4. Hear No Evil, See No Evil

Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor are at their very comedic best as a deaf guy and a blind guy who get inadvertently involved witnessing a murder and have the killers chasing them.

5. Bad Boys

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are cops that don’t initially see eye to eye, but become best buds.

Bounce Off: How Many Facebook Friends Should You Have?

Click here to read my article on the Bounce Off website.

Are you a Drifter, a Sparky or a Normalton?

I met with a good pal of mine recently, SAPessi, who wanted to share with me his ill thought theory that some people are ‘drifters’ and they wander through life without aim or aspiration, following other people and moaning about their position. SAPessi really doesn’t like drifters and gave the example of a particular drifter he knows who is annoying and who we soon categorised as being a ‘cautious-drifter’.

Note: SAPessi is a serious blogger and so wanted me to publish his thoughts. I invited him to review this blog post and have included his comments below.

I remarked that coming up with the notion that some people are drifters is not that amazing or new. We discussed the concept further as he said that all non-drifters hate drifters and I didn’t think this was the case, that actually there were some people who didn’t mind drifters who were themselves not drifters.

SAPessi: That’s just not possible. We all hate drifters. They are miserable and annoying. To think that these people are just one species away from being human beings!

We further agreed there are 3 main categories of people (with many sub-divisions of each):

Drifters – As mentioned, these are people who wander aimlessly and annoy people like SAPessi. ‘Charming-drifters’ are the most annoying type of drifter.

SAPessi: that’s very misleading. True I hate drifters. But I hate everyone else equally.

Drifter (1)

Sparkys– These are people who have lots of ideas all of the time, are easily distracted and find it hard to focus on one thing for any length of time. SAPessi is an ‘OCD-Sparky’ and I am a ‘Laid-back-Sparky. SAPessi hates the term ‘sparky’ but has not been able to come up with anything better.

SAPessi: We don’t go through life on fire! That’s the only possible outcome of a spark. We really need to come up with a better term.

old-sparky (1)

Normaltons – People who are not Drifters or Sparkys.


There are sub-categories of people, e.g. Charmers, which can transcend across the three categories. Another type is ‘Dullards’ (very dull people) who can also be in each category. A dullard-drifter is probably the dullest of the dullards.

SAPessi: I really, really hate them

You also get in all 3 categories those who are ‘cautious’ and ‘cynical’.

SAPessi: [about cautious] you all know these people, health and safety officials in disguise whose only objective is to take the fun out of your life by being all sensible

So, which type and sub-category do you belong to? And do you think I need to get medical attention for SAPessi?

Wise Words #2: Friendships

On very rare occasions I utter something that sounds like it could be wise, but may just be jibberish?

“Maintaining friends is like juggling many balls at the same time, so don’t get too upset if you’re a ball that gets dropped from time to time”

Jake McMillan

What’s wrong with buying a female friend a dildo?

We’re well into the 21st century and I live in a post-feminist London, one of the most modern and progressive cities in the world, but apparently it is “weird” for a bloke to buy a plutonic female friend a vibrator, but it is fine if a female friend buys one for her. Let me run through the exact situation and you can make up your own mind.

This female friend, let’s call her Faloola, is a close and genuinely platonic friend and she feels very comfortable and open about sharing intimate details about her sex life and bodily functions with me. She even thinks it is funny to call me whilst on the loo! She has revealed she does not masturbate and is not really into that. A female friend had bought her a vibrator earlier in the year but she threw it away.

Faloola is fun and good company, but is prone to negativity about pretty much everything in her life and so I came up with a plan for her centred around getting more endorphins. Firstly, she was to start doing more exercise, secondly, have some chocolate and thirdly, well, I think you can guess what the third part of the plan was about.


She wasn’t so keen on the third part as she has never done that before but I did a quick search and found this vibrator starter kit for women who are new to it and/or feel uncomfortable about using a vibrator. I told her she had a surprise coming in the post and that she probably wouldn’t like it, but to call me when she opened it so I could explain its purpose.

If this had come from a female friend it would have been considered a thoughtful and well-intended gift, but because I have dangly bits between my legs it is considered “weird” and “wrong”.  One female friend who is a feminist and generally forward thinking even said that she felt it was wrong but could not explain why.

So what did Faloola actually think about it? Unfortunately, she didn’t call me when she received it and later said she felt slightly insulted that I thought she needed one (as she’s single), but did understand the good intention. Although other female friends think it is weird for me to have done it, they definitely want her to use it. What is your view?

Jake McMillan

Where is your RSVP?

Is it just me, or is everyone just too damn busy? Do you remember a time when you arranged your weekend on a Friday night? It’s probably just that I am old (or maybe it’s just my friends are old?), but I now have to arrange a drink with a close buddy weeks in advance. Well, I’ve been trying to organise a party with only, wait for it, two weeks’ notice. They said it could not be done.

Spontaneity has disappeared as our lives are now so full with meeting up with friends, weddings, parties (30th birthdays, stag nights, house-warmings, leaving dos), client drinks, quiz nights etc. Actually, that all sounds quite fun, so what am I moaning about? And just how many more rhetorical questions are there going to be? (Only two more.)

Organising this party has made me feel like I’m in Challenge Anneka, except that I am not wearing a bright jump suit (I don’t have the cleavage thankfully). I have been calling in favours, twisting people’s arms, sending out texts and Facebook messages, and using all the sneaky, devious tricks I know to get my friends to show up at the party.

However, I’m resigned to the fact that a significant proportion of my close friends will not be able to make it, and many have already said that they cannot be there.

Now, it could be that I am very unpopular (probably a good theory), but I am offering a great venue, free booze, food and music. Because everyone has such busy lives now, I am having to persuade people to come along, to change their plans, to bring their friends. I even have a secret superhero theme and a prize for the best superpower. Cool, huh?

OK, maybe it’s not that cool, but it sounds fun to me. I’d be interested in a party like that.

I accept that people’s lives are quite busy and they have a lot of commitments. Even I’m quite busy and have had to turn down a few friends recently – but I did at least have the decency to turn them down.

It seems to be accepted now that not RSVP-ing is OK. A kind person has generously offered to entertain you for the evening, so isn’t it a simple common courtesy to respond to them?

By the way, if you’ve not got the email, then you’re not invited!

Jake McMillan

Related Posts:
The Unwritten Rules of Modern Communication
The 24hrs Rule
How Often do You Say Sorry?
Women Hog the Hug!

Can men and women really be friends??

I am sure most of you remember the great 1989 film ‘When Harry met Sally’ and Billy Crystal explaining to Meg Ryan that men and women cannot be friends as the sex part always gets in the way. However, is this really true for 21st century society? Opinion seems divided on the matter.

I’m a heterosexual male and have many heterosexual female friends who have been close friends for many years without any sex/romance issues ever occurring. I don’t fancy them and they don’t fancy me, we are just mates. However, several of my male friends think this is complete rubbish and that maybe secretly the women fancy me or I secretly fancy them.

They also say that ultimately men and women cannot be friends as the friendship is always doomed as one will always end up being unhappy as they will have unfulfilled romantic desires on the other and will need to end the friendship to move on. Think about your own friends, don’t you have a friend that sometimes you think about in an amorous or lustful way or that you suspect that they think about you in that way?

I am certain that many male-female friendships are hiding romantic feelings, especially at the start of a friendship, but it cannot be the case for all of them and even the ones that do begin in such a manner, these feelings can pass and a genuine friendship can be formed. It is not an easy situation though, as I know of a few recent cases where friends have been disappointed when an apparent close friendship has fizzled out due to the other party having feelings for them that were not returned and as a result they were not able to be as close to them anymore.

The worst situation is when a long established friendship falters, which my male friends say is inevitable, due to one developing feelings for the other. This is very tricky as the natural approach is to bottle these feelings up for fear of ruining the friendship but can this really be maintained long term without it effecting the relationship?

I firmly believe that men and women can definitely be friends, I have the proof! However, you need to be careful of these friendships in the beginning, as if one person develops feelings it could end up with both being sad and disappointed.
Jake McMillan