Internet First Dates

by Jake McMillan

Using the benefit of my own humble experience and that of expert Internet daters, here are few tips for navigating your way through those potentially tricky first dates.

1. Suggest a date early into Internet Chat
Don’t waste loads of time emailing/chatting to someone online before suggesting going on a date as you won’t really know if you’re compatible until you meet them in person. You’re on an Internet dating site to meet people after all, not to chat on a computer. If you’ve received three messages back from them of more than one sentence, then you’re definitely in the zone to suggest meeting up.

2. The 1st Date – Keep it Quick and Simple
The best thing you can do is suggest meeting for a quick drink/coffee after work. This is good for two reasons: first, it is an easy thing to say yes to and second, it does not commit you to a whole evening with them. They may seem lovely in photos and on email, but when you meet them you will decide fairly quickly if you actually fancy them or not.  If it’s the latter you don’t want to be stuck with them any longer than you have to. Suggesting the cinema or theatre are potentially bad ideas unless you meet up with them a good amount of time before the show starts.

3. The Initial Meeting
Make sure you are on time (chaps – it’s best to be a little early) as no one likes to be kept waiting. When going up to them for the first time, despite any nerves you may have, go for a confident and welcoming hello with a big smile. Guys, I would always suggest going for a kiss on the cheek as a hand shake would seem a little distant and reserved.

4. First Date Crunch Point #1 – 3rd Drink
During a first Internet date there are a number ‘Crunch Points’ where the date could go in very different directions. Crunch Point #1 is after the second drink. If you’ve wisely suggested a drink after work then etiquette will mean one of you buys the first round and the other buys the next. The Crunch Point is whether you go for round number 3? If one or both of you are not keen on the other, then this is a perfect opportunity to make a polite exit. An acceptance of a third drink means the date will continue for at least a little while longer.

5. First Date Crunch Point #2 – Food
The next Crunch Point is the suggestion of going for some food after your initial drinks. Commitment to this means the date will continue for quite some time more, but is also an opportunity for an escape. If you go for food, don’t go somewhere too formal, you want to create a scenario where the two of you can sit closely together to give a chance for flirting and touching (e.g. playing footsie).

6. First Date Crunch Point #3 – Kiss Goodnight
If you haven’t already kissed during the date, then a kiss goodnight is something you’ll both be considering. Guys, if she is eager to get away to her taxi/transport then she probably doesn’t want to do it, but if she lingers at the point of goodbye then she is probably open it.

Good luck!

Filming a Wedding Video – Top Tips

Because of the film-making I do from time to time, I have often been asked by friends to film their wedding day. If you’ve been asked by some friends to do the same, here are some practical tips to help make it all go as smoothly as possible:

1 – Manage Expectations – promise low, deliver high
Don’t get over excited at what you can do for the couple, or let them dictate what can be achieved. If you have agreed to do it, then make sure to say you’ll do the best you can but can’t promise anything.

2 – Chat with couple about the key things they want to capture
Again, manage expectations, but ask them if there are 3 main things they want in the video, you can try your best to achieve it.

3 – Get a detailed itinerary for the day
This is very useful as you know when things are going to happen and can get in position ready.

4 – Check with priest/vicar it’s okay to video ceremony & where you can film
This is very important as each vicar has a different view on what is allowed. At a recent wedding the priest let me go wherever I wanted and at the wedding before that the vicar said I could only film from one spot and not move about.

5 – Get to church early to get some establishing shots of church, church sign, guests arriving etc.
This is useful when it comes to editing the video itself. Also, it establishes you as the wedding video person to guests.

6 – Have at least one back up camera
Your camera should be fine, but have an extra one just in case. Assume the worst case scenario. Your back up camera should ideally record in the same video format to make editing easier and that the picture all looks the same. I once edited a wedding video from 4 different cameras (1 Mini-DV video camera, 2 digital cameras (one was 16:9 HD and the other standard 4:3) and an iPhone) and editing it all took ages and the screen resolution was not consistent.

7 – Have enough battery power to record for at least 6hrs (bring recharger if needed)
This is where a lot of people mess up. Your camera will be on a lot during the day and until they improve battery power, you will need replacement batteries ready to go. You will likely leave the camera on a lot of the time you are not actually filming.

8 – Look out for electrical power points you can use at church/reception
This is so you can do any re-charging where necessary.

9 – Make sure you have enough tape or memory for at least 4.5hrs
Remember using HQ video, which you’ll want to use, will eat up much more memory. You’ll probably shoot 2-3hrs of footage, but best to be prepared for a lot more than that.

10 – When filming speeches, alternate your position
This is to help the editing. Speeches are usually pretty dull anyway, so don’t make it even more dull by filming from the same spot all the time.

11 – Do guest interviews
Trust me, when you come to show the edited video, its the interviews that everyone loves. However, it is hard work to do and you will want to just relax and have a drink instead. Ask people the same 2 or 3 quick questions, nice ones like, have you enjoyed the day? Do you have a message for the couple? Plus one fun one which is personal/funny to the couple.

12 – Control your breathing and keep quiet when filming
Unless you are using professional equipment with a good microphone, anything you say or mumble will be picked up by the camera. A friend did a video and all you could hear throughout was his odd heavy breathing … not good and spoilt the whole video.

13 – Editing – it will take you at least 4 times longer than you think
Editing is a whole other article (and more), but allow yourself loads of time to do this and try not to promise a particular date to have it ready. After all, you’re a friend doing it, not a professional.